Monday, September 5, 2011

chapter fourteen

If there is a medal for celibacy, I win it.  If there isn’t one, there should be.

Kristen is fast asleep in my arms. We are curled on our sides in my bed, under the covers and everything.  She wears a borrowed pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt my sister left behind.  If her body didn’t rise and fall against me I wouldn’t even know she was alive.

I lay in the dark, breathing in her scent, and fight back the urge to scream.

When we got to my house, Kristen was sheepish.  She apologized multiple times for trying to run again.  I just said it was a good thing I controlled the door locks on my car.  I gave her a tour that ended with the bedroom.

“Amazing view.”  She peered out the window at the Chicago skyline twinkling in the night.  I resisted the urge to use a cheesy line, mostly because I’d used it numerous times in this room before.  And tonight was going to have to be different.

I did tug her toward the bed though, lay her out and settle myself against her body as comfortably as I could do with a hard-on.  She didn’t say anything, just kissed me deeply.  It felt grateful and I cursed myself - that she was so scared she felt the need to thank me for not insisting we have sex tonight.  

Of course I wanted to.  Judging by the tiny moans that punctuated our kisses, she did too.  But fear is a serious buzzkill and I wouldn’t have her remembering our first time as the time she really didn’t want to.

So we watched a movie on my bed, then changed and climbed under the blankets.  She wrapped around me, the closest she could come to saying she was in this too.  I fell asleep to the beating of her heart.

Sometime in the night I wake, conscious of a huge erection that is probably making her dream of being impaled.  It’s far too hot in the room - I never sleep with my shirt on.  Figuring she’s already out, I toss my t-shirt away and my sweats too, leaving just my shorts.  That doesn’t help the arousal problem.  Neither does laying on my back for a while.  So I pad softly into the bathroom and try not to scream her name as I take care of myself with her in my mind.

Back in bed, she rolls into my embrace and pads my bare chest like a kitten.  I smooth her hair and drift off to sleep again.

And drift back to her body shaking.

“Hmmmm?” It’s not really a word, but I’m not really awake.  Through my eyelids I can tell that it’s light out so I’ve made it through the night.  Kristen is giggling.

“You are so....”

“Oh my God!”  I jump away from her.  I’m hard as a rock again, of course.  And I’ve probably been humping her leg.  “Sorry!”

“It’s okay!”  She turns to face me and I bite back a strangled moan.  Perfect bed head, a trace of smudged eye makeup and the way she licks her dry lips - I nearly come in my shorts.  She just smiles.

“It’s morning, you’re a boy.”

“In my defense,” I say, shifting to arrange myself, “there is a hot girl in my bed.  But sorry, I promised.”

Kristen lifts up onto her elbow.  Dark hair cascades down her back and her t-shirt stretches thin across the swell of her breast.  Now my mouth is dry.

“Break your promise,” she says.

I am going to climb out of my fucking skin.  Patrick is heavily asleep, breathing in soft snorts and grinding his morning erection into the rise of my ass.  I wake to the twist of his stiffness against my body, the clutch of his hand at my hip, holding me in place as he works like someone who knows exactly what they’re doing.  His body heat has doubled because his bare chest and legs bleed warmth through my borrowed clothes.

He exhales deeply, striking a hot spot along his shaft.  I whimper and it turns into a laugh.

“Hmmm?” he mumbles.  Then he freezes.  

“You are so....” I was going to say ‘lucky that I am horny too’ or ‘overdressed now get those shorts off.’  But he is stricken.  I talk him down a little until I can’t hold it back anymore either.

“Break your promise.”

Those are my words.  Because ‘fucking fuck me right fucking now’ seems trashy.

Sleeping next to Patrick was narcotic - I didn’t move, didn’t dream, barely breathed all night.  It was the most peace I have achieved in four months, maybe longer.  There has to be trust in that, an element of faith that I have been willing myself not to see.  I’m holding myself back for the wrong reasons - even if there’s something wrong with me, there’s nothing wrong with Patrick.  And I’ve been taking it out on him.

But the weight of his strong body and the solid feel of his arms around me - I’d have to be dead not to melt like butter.  Especially when he so clearly wants me.

“Break your promise,” I repeat because he looks confused.  Sliding across the sheets, I don’t stop till I’m pressed against him.  “I want you.”

“Are you...,” he clears his throat, his voice sticky with sleep, “are you sure?”

But my hands are already on his bare back, the hard planes of muscle sliding quickly beneath my palms.  And he can’t talk because I am kissing him.  He gives me a minute to back out, then he comes in after me.  Patrick rolls until I am beneath him and pumps his hips against my thigh.

“Babe,” his voice is strained, “I can’t....”

“Hurry,” I tell him, pushing his shorts down.  He lifts so I can do the same, the pants sliding beneath my butt with my panties still inside.  Patrick fumbles at the bed side table for a condom without even looking apologetic that he keeps them at arm’s reach.  He puts it on himself because I am afraid to touch him.

“I want you so much,” I pant.  

His chest heaves against mine as he looks down into my eyes.  Without stopping and without looking away, Patrick lines himself up and slowly presses himself inside me.

“Ohhhgodyes,” he groans as the thick girth of his cock screws itself into my body.  I sob out a breath to make room for him.  My body throws a homecoming parade.  Patrick groans again as he drives home his last inch.

“I forgot,” I gasp.  “I forgot how good it feels.”

He smiles.  “Me too.”

It’s all I can do to hold her hip down with my one good hand and stroke the swollen heat of her body a few times.  I feel like a virgin - desperate, inundated, astounded.  She shifts, pushing me deeper and stars dance in my eyes.

I haven’t done anything.  I haven’t tasted her sweet skin or the honey that buzzes around my buried cock.  Her perfect breasts are still covered by that damned t-shirt and I can’t do all this work with only one hand.  But most concerning is the pressure building in my hips, like a fire hydrant filling with water, that is about to crack open and shoot skyward.

Kristen feels like danger.  All that waiting and maybe we didn’t wait long enough.  Because I cannot fight this or control this and I will lose myself in here.  My heart hammers out equal parts pleasure and fear until I am bursting.

“Baby, I can’t stop,” I tell her with my eyes closed so I don’t see the disappointment on her face.  I’m a legend, if I do say so myself.  This morning I’m behaving like a rookie.

“Patrick,” she says in a tone that makes me open my eyes.  Kristen meets my gaze and then kisses me, hard. “I want to feel you come.”

I thrust hard once, twice, like dropping a heavy weight that had you shaking.  On the third swing, I roar out all my pent up desire and fear and hope that what we’re heading toward is the thing I so desperately need.  That I can be what she needs in return.  It all pours out of me, her forgiving body absorbing every ounce.  The skin at the hollow of her throat is so soft beneath my lips.

God this girl owns me.

He came in record time.

Thank God.

Girls are supposed to be mad when their guys finish first or don’t last, but in this case it tastes like victory to me.  If I can make Patrick Kane, Casanova and bad boy extraordinaire, beg for more time on the clock then I must be doing something right.

Yes, I’m taking all the credit for this.

There will be payback, I know.  Patrick was halfway there when he woke up, and so was I.  So much for just sleeping together.  But now I feel so relieved I could cry.  We are here.  We are at the good part, the real and serious part.  Since walking in on Tyler and the girl, sex has been the image burned in my mind of everything that went wrong before.  Now I can replace that picture with a new, very exciting one.

Patrick kisses my nose and runs his thumb along my jaw.  “You okay?”

I nod.

“Good.  Because you fucking wrecked me.”

I laugh and he kisses me again, for real this time, and with feeling.  Not just the post-sex energy drain, but the emotion of a first time.  His eyes are open when I open mine.

“Can you be late for work?”

“Oh shit, work!”  I bolt upright in bed, wonder briefly why I’m still half-dressed, and scramble out of bed.  “I forgot!  I have an event tonight and I need a dress.  Shit!”

Patrick is already on his feet.  I freeze, taking in the total nakedness of the man who just promised me a whole new world of sleepless nights.  I go blank and slack like I’m hypnotized.

He just laughs.  “Remember this when you’re naked next time.”

Quickly dressed, Patrick races me through town.  I put my hand high on his thigh and leave it there, drumming my fingers on the material of his pants where they stretch tight toward his thigh.  He breathes through his nose like a Navy Seal training to withstand torture.

“I can’t see you tonight, this event is a dinner with cocktail hour after.  Multiple hours, usually.”

“Want me to crash?” he smiles mischievously.

“There’s nothing I’d like more, but it’s a corporate thing and we’re pitching clients, so better not distract them with any really sexy superstar athletes.”

He waits in the car while I run upstairs, throw my only clean dress and a pair of shoes in a garment bag and zip into clean trousers.  Then he drives me to work.

“I finally get some and now I can’t get anymore,” he teases as he pulls to the curb.

“Oh yeah?  Who didn’t get any this morning?” I feign indignation.

“Ooh, burn!  I promise,” he leans in and kisses me, tugging my bottom lip between his teeth, “you will get plenty the moment you come back.”

I pretty much growl as I force my tongue into his mouth, then leap out of the car and jog around.  Patrick rolls down the window as I get toward the office door.

“Hurry!” he shouts.  I wave back my promise.


  1. Oh thank god! I feel just about as relieved as Kaner right now! This so needed to happen, and soon. Keep up the fantastic writing!

  2. I cant belive that I love this story so much but this story is turning me into a patrick Kane fan!! I have no regrets haha

  3. Hey Im in school and when I have down time I log here to read. However this year they blocked anything with the word mature in the url. I was hoping you could remove the warning, but if do not want to I inderstand. However I would be greatful.
    P.S. I love the story, but Im not this far in yet...hehe

  4. Please update soon!

  5. Are you going to update this soon

  6. Where have you gone? Oh please update this--this whole week between updates bit is killing me!